“I ate breakfast in the kitchen by candle-light, and then drove the five miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring. The sun came up on the way, and the swamp maples and dogwood glowed crimson and orange and the stone walls and cornfields sparkled with hoar frost; the air was keen and clear and full of promise. I knew something was going to happen. ”
― Jean Webster, Daddy Long Legs
I dig this surety that sth is going to happen. when I am waiting for sth all day.
by this time I am bouncing off walls of my empty flat. and I can’t bear it.
I struggle with a serious disease. sometimes I even think I wrestle with it. and that swine makes me sick and exhausted.
I try to fight but the disease is stronger than me. even stronger than my heart’s desire to be healthy.
it seems to be reliant on my activity. well, on the one hand, it is. but it depends how do you understand the word “activity”. but the truth is, it’s some kind of addiction, so, yes, it depends on me. in reality you feel like be in a cage of your mind, psyche.
I haven’t written about my reason of writing this blog yet. here you are my confession (it sounded too moving, sorry for that). I hope you will my spiritus movens to overcome this disease at last (after five years).
for consolation – penne with chicken and courgette recipe. very quick, easy, and extremely delicious!